The everyday interactions we enjoy with parents of the children in our care become building blocks for developing more meaningful relationships. When we use positive, uplifting language with parents, we open the door to collaboration and partnership that supports their child’s needs. This article highlights opportunities to incorporate positivity into your communication with parents and set the stage for a relationship of mutual trust.
One of the simplest ways to make someone feel welcome and valued is to really listen to them when they are speaking. With this type of active listening, we focus on the speaker’s words and expressions, while trying to avoid thoughts about our own potential response. Educator and author, Dr. Judy Willis, describes this process in an article for Edutopia: “Active listening is a structured way of listening and responding such that the speaker knows you’re truly interested in their ideas, concerns, and opinions. It involves giving the speaker your undivided attention, withholding judgment, and being mindful of your facial expressions and body language…to show your respect for the speaker.”
Tips for enhancing your active listening skills include maintaining eye contact, acknowledging feelings, asking clarifying questions, and repeating back what the other person stated to ensure that you understand what they are saying. With parents, it’s helpful to end the conversation by thanking them for sharing their input and letting them know how much you appreciate their honesty and openness. This kind of communication makes parents feel that you respect their opinion and that you really care about what they have to say.
When a child’s parent comes in with a suggestion or a complaint, it can be easy to feel defensive or overwhelmed. After all, parents aren’t always tuned in to the thought and expertise required to design an engaging curriculum, or to the importance of structure and routine in an early childhood group setting.
We can offset our negative feelings by remembering that feedback from families is incredibly valuable, and that by listening with openness we can turn feedback into an opportunity to create a sense of partnership with families. Getting into a “why not” habit can also help reduce stress associated with receiving unexpected suggestions. For example, if a parent suggests that a specific book, game, or activity be added to your curriculum, start by asking yourself “why not?” and then promise yourself to consider incorporating the parent’s advice. Remind yourself that there is no need to make an immediate decision about the advice, and then smile and express appreciation for the suggestion.
While it might seem like a small thing, greeting families with a warm welcome each morning can go a long way toward setting a more positive tone for ongoing communication. An article from NAEYC notes: “It is amazing how far a simple Hello! will go toward building a positive relationship. Just by acknowledging a family member’s presence, you are being welcoming. Short, inviting conversations can lead to positive relationships.”
When checking in with families, try to lead with their child’s positive qualities and progress, before bringing up areas for improvement. For example, if a child is doing really well writing their letters but is struggling to share classroom materials with their friends, you might start by praising their letter-writing. You can also highlight the child’s strengths and progress in things outside of academic performance, such as how the child is making friends or helping out around the classroom. This information makes parents feel that their child is seen and valued for their unique qualities.
Even though we can sometimes feel short on time during drop-off and pick-up, it is important to ensure that we communicate positive things to parents about their children’s strengths, accomplishments, or favorite activities so they can leave the conversation with a good feeling.
Parents are experts when it comes to their children. They can provide a wealth of insight and information about their child that you can incorporate into your classroom routines. We can let parents know that they are valued by inviting them to spend time in the classroom and by asking them to share their feedback.
And, when parents do provide input, make it a point to thank them for their openness and their willingness to share with you. Remind them how much you appreciate hearing from them and working together to support their child.
