It’s a New School Year: Setting Behavior Expectations that Enhance Community

Early childhood educators know that each new school year entails a lot of planning and preparation. In addition to organizing play and learning spaces and planning our curriculum, we want to ensure that children feel welcome and comfortable in the preschool community. There are many ways to build community, and one particularly helpful way can be to invite children to collaborate with you to create rules for your classroom. Working together to set expectations can be a great opportunity to build relationships and to get children engaged in their new learning space.

Include Children in the Process

With preschoolers, establishing classroom rules and guidelines is best done as a group process, perhaps as part of circle time or morning meeting during one of the first few days of school.  When children assist in creating rules and guidelines, they are more likely to feel invested in them and enthusiastic about adhering to them. Because young children naturally have a strong sense of justice or right and wrong, they will likely have opinions and wonderful ideas about the kinds of rules they want to set for themselves and their peers.

Allowing children to participate in the process of setting norms and rules gives us insight into the values that are important to them, which promotes understanding, community, and belonging. The collaborative process demonstrates to children that they are valued by showing them that they are seen, recognized, and important members of the classroom community. 

Use Positive Language

When setting rules for young children to follow, consider using affirmative language rather than words like “can’t” or “don’t”.  Samantha Foley, a Montessori toddler educator explains, “It’s challenging for toddlers to understand the concept of negatives. Often, they miss the ‘don’t’ or ‘stop’ at the beginning of the sentence; translating, ‘Don’t climb on the counter!’ into ‘Climb on the counter!’ This leaves our curious, independence-seeking toddlers wondering, ‘Why are they telling me to do exactly what I am doing? And why are they mad at me for it?’ Being specific about what they can do and when is easier for toddlers to understand… they are more likely to learn from the experience and cooperate with the request in the future.” 

While Foley is specifically discussing her work with toddlers, this idea applies to all young children, including those in preschool and pre-k. We want to tell children what we want them to do, rather than what not to do. This makes rules more direct and easier to follow, while also helping to maintain an encouraging atmosphere in the classroom. As you shift to more positive and direct language, you might also observe a decrease in challenging behaviors, as children gain more confidence that they understand what is expected of them.  

You might also give some thought to whether the word “rules” feels appropriate for your classroom space. Some educators have better luck directing children’s behavior when they reframe classroom rules in a collaborative way, by calling them “community guidelines” or “classroom agreements.” Using a more positive approach in titling your classroom expectations might help children to feel more encouraged to follow them.   

Explain “Why”

Children typically have an easier time understanding rules that make logical sense. Arbitrary rules can be difficult to understand, which makes them hard to remember. When you create rules and guidelines for the children in your classroom, it can be helpful to explain to children why the rules are significant and will have a positive impact on your community.  

For example, if you and the children agree that everyone cleans up their bedding after nap time, you might explain to them why this is important — such as, cleaning up bedding helps to create more room for play in the afternoon! Or, we share clean-up with our friends to ensure that we all have lots of time to play after naptime.

Communicate with Patience

It’s important to remember that it might take the children in your care some time to adjust to a new space, new peers, and new guidelines and expectations. When children get distracted or forget the rules, try using positive reminders and encouragement to get them back on track. Here are a few quick tips to help you think about the way that you communicate with the children in your care: 

• Consider your tone. When we feel frustrated or raise our voice, children are likely to notice the way that we are speaking as opposed to what we are actually saying. If you are frustrated, take a few seconds to inhale and exhale before communicating with children in a calm tone.  
• Think about levels. When you check in with a child, keep in mind that you are likely much taller than the children in your care! Move down to their level when communicating rather than talking to them from above. 
• Ask questions. When children get off track, ask questions to remind them what’s next. “What do we do after we wash our hands?” “Where do we line up to go inside?” These questions help remind children what is expected of them, without telling them what to do. Children feel empowered when they know that they have the ability to make the right decisions on their own. 

If your program serves multiple ages, please also visit the G2K article, Creating Routines & Expectations to Enhance Early Learning.