Encouraging Empathy in Early Learning Environments

In our work as early learning professionals, helping children to learn social and emotional skills is just as critical as academic instruction. Young children are actively expanding their emotional intelligence and practicing foundational skills for relationship-building and forming friendships. One of the most important of these foundational skills is empathy. 

NAEYC reminds us that “modeling and teaching empathy— concern for others’ feelings—is an important part of being an effective, culturally competent teacher.”

What is Empathy?

An article written by early learning experts Valerie Quann and Carol Anne Wien defines empathy as “the capacity to observe the feelings of another and to respond with care and concern for that other…[or] kindness toward another when there is a perceived or real sadness about that person.”  

There are three kinds of empathy that educators often see in young children:

1. Proximal empathy, which occurs when a child shows concerned care for a distressed classmate who is close by, though not having been involved in the classmate’s upset.
2. Altruistic empathy, which occurs when a child offers concerned care in response to another child’s suffering, even when he or she notices the suffering from afar. 
3. Self-corrective empathy, which occurs when a child offers concerned care in response to his or her own actions causing distress to another.

Why is Empathy Important in Early Learning?

Empathy strengthens community

In our diverse communities, being able to empathize with those from different cultures and backgrounds helps us to form stronger connections and deeper relationships. Edutopia explains, “As children learn empathy skills by communicating cross-culturally with their classmates, those skills will transfer to their lives in their community. The deeper relationships that result from strong empathy skills have the potential to strengthen a community and build trust. The effects of community extend far beyond the four walls of your classroom.”

Empathy sets children up for success

Researchers have found that empathy in young children is a building block for their future success.  A study published in the American Journal of Public Health, which followed participants from kindergarten into adulthood found that those who displayed empathy in kindergarten, by sharing and helping other children, were more likely to graduate from high school and have full-time jobs.

Empathy supports academic achievement

Researchers have explored the links between an empathy curriculum and academic achievement and have found a positive correlation between the two. An article from tolerance.org describes the positive effects of empathy on learning. The article notes that children who learn in more empathetic environments have better self-esteem, feel more supported, are less stressed, and are more successful in academics. They observe that  “kids do better in a culture of caring.”

How Can We Teach Empathy?

•  Talk about it. By helping children understand what empathy looks like, you can help prepare them to show it. You can say things like, “You saw that your friend was sad, and so you brought him his favorite toy! That made him so happy!” These conversations help children to understand what it means to be supportive of their peers and to see the positive impact of their actions. 
• Model it. Children are constantly observing what we say and do. By demonstrating empathetic and kind behavior, we can help them learn what it looks like to be caring and compassionate towards their peers. 
• Document and share it. Take photos of children interacting with their friends, and print out photos showing them doing something kind. Share the photos with the children at circle time, or by hanging them at child’s eye-level on an empathy wall.  The empathy wall can also be a place where you post notes about the kindness children have shown toward their peers.  This will give children a chance to reflect on that experience, to remember how it felt, and to understand the positive impact of their kindness.

• Here’s an idea from Teachstarter for creating an empathy wall in your classroom. Find a blank wall (it doesn’t have to be too big!) in your classroom and create a banner or sign that says “Empathy Wall.” The sign doesn’t need to be fancy, but it should be colorful so that the space feels special and celebratory. This space should feel exciting to children, to encourage and reinforce positive behavior. One way to introduce the empathy wall is by asking children about kind things they have done for others, or that others have done for them. You might start the conversation by sharing kindnesses shown to you or that you have enjoyed doing for others. Put a stack of post-its and a few markers near the wall so that they’re available when you need them. When children do something kind, write it down on a post-it and stick it up on the wall to celebrate. Click here for more inspiration and details.
• Add Empathy to Storytime. As children hear about the experiences of characters in the books you read during storytime, they practice thinking about other people’s perspectives and feelings. You might facilitate conversations about empathy during a story through guided questions, such as:   “How do you think this character felt when that happened?” “What was she feeling at the beginning of the story?” “What was he feeling at the end of the story?” Or, you can insert comments during the story that point children in the right direction, such as “Wow, he’s lost… and he looks really sad.” “Oh no, she’s feeling lonely. That’s not a nice way to feel. Have you ever felt that way?” 
  

   

Children’s Books about Empathy

The Color Monster: A Story about Emotions, by Anna Lienas

 This board book is particularly well-suited for toddlers and young preschoolers to foster simple conversations about feelings and emotions. 

A monster who is experiencing a variety of feelings at once is helped by a little girl who shows him what each feeling means, using colors. You can find a free read-aloud video of The Color Monster here.

I Walk with Vanessa: A Picture Book Story about a Simple Act of Kindness, by Kerascoet

This children’s book has beautiful illustrations, without any words. The story follows a little girl who moves away from home to a new town and new school. She becomes upset when she is bullied on her way to school, but the next day some children come to her aid.

This particular book gives children an opportunity to look at what is happening in the images on each page and think about what the characters are feeling. There is a video of this story with sound effects and background music.

One by Kathryn Otoshi 

This book blends learning about numbers and colors, with a story that fosters understanding about the importance of embracing what it is that makes each of us different.  Younger children will enjoy the simple colors and counting, and older children will be able to understand the deeper messages about bullying and the importance of kindness.  A free video read-aloud of this story is available on Youtube.

At what age does empathy begin?

The experience of empathy varies, based on a child’s age and developmental stage. Infants and toddlers demonstrate a simple compassion for others,  while children who are a bit older begin to understand cause and effect, making them better able to empathize with the feelings and experiences of others.

Infants & Toddlers

Some argue that empathy is difficult for young children to grasp, as their brains are still developing. However, in your own practice, you have likely observed children as young as infants demonstrating kindness and empathy towards their peers. Infants and toddlers often display concern for their peers by showing distress when another child is upset, and may even reach out to provide comfort. 

An example of this early empathy occurs when a toddler becomes noticeably concerned or looks toward a teacher for help when another child cries or hurts themselves. We might see a toddler offer a toy or stuffed animal to comfort a child who is crying when parents leave after drop-off.

Preschool & Pre-K

By the age of 4, most children understand that other people have thoughts, feelings, likes, and dislikes that may be different from their own.  This advanced understanding supports a child’s ability to respond to differences with more thoughtful and intentional compassion. As their language skills develop, they begin to engage in more nuanced conversations about feelings, during which they describe the way they are feeling and start to understand the experiences of others.  

Resources for Further Exploration

• Why We Should Teach Empathy to Preschoolers, an article from UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Magazine
• EMPATHY FOR THE ‘A’: Teaching Empathy Not Only Benefits Classroom Culture — It can Raise Test Scores, an article from tolerance.org (PDF)
• The Visible Empathy of Infants and Toddlers, an article from NAEYC’s Young Child Magazine (PDF) 
• Sesame Street: Empathy Video with Mark Ruffalo, a video from Sesame Street that describes empathy using child-friendly language
• Good2Know Network’s article: Supporting Friendships & Early Relationships